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15 things to teach your daughter

Since I blogged yesterday about 15 things to teach your sons; today I will blog about 15 things to teach your daughter. Once again I found this wonderful list at www.ooph.com.  If you get time, check out the web site. It has lots of great information for parents of tween, teens, and college age students on driving, health and body image, education and the birds and the bees. And let’s face it…who doesn’t need a little extra help talking about the birds and the bees?

image taken from http://www.ooph.com

The author thought these were a few key things every girl should know before she departs your home. I have added my own extra thoughts to these.

1. Scissors are to be used for opening bags of chips, not for your hair. NOT your bangs. EVER.

On second thought don’t use it on bags of chips; use them for cutting tags off a great pair of jeans or pair of shoes. But NOT your hair!

2. Never use bleach and ammonia at the same time. It creates a toxic gas that will cause you to suffocate.

Well, I am guessing you will be a curious person like your mamma and mix the two anyway just to see how horrible it is. (Yes, I did this…in the bathroom toilet…with the bathroom exhaust fan on… and then left the room and shut the door for HOURS after I smelled this toxic scent.) Again…I don’t advise doing it.

3. Learn to use a fire extinguisher.

With your mad cooking skills and no so gracefulness I am sure I will get to give you this lesson sooner rather than later.

4. Do not ask a question you don’t want the answer to until you are emotionally ready to handle it. For example. “Do you love me?” or “Does this make me look fat?”

Skip these questions all together when it comes to the male species. You are only asking because you are having self-deprecation issues. Call Mamma or your BFF so we can spare you the disappointment and sadness from (most) male’s response.

5. Good friends are the ones who tell you that your ass looks big in those jeans and that Suzy is sleeping with your boyfriend. Keep them forever.

Once you enter junior high/high school you will quickly find out who your good friends are. They will pick you up when you are down, never stab you in your back, never flirt with your boyfriend and have your back in all situations.

6. When you ask a man, “What are you thinking?” and he replies, “Nothing.” It’s true.

Men are really simple creatures. They will only have two things mostly on their mind…1. nothing…and 2. THAT.

7. For every slice of pizza you eat you will need to run 30 minutes to burn it off. Two slices equal an hour. Three slices? An hour and a half. You get the idea. That doesn’t include the beer.

But sometimes you will really need the two slices of pizza and beer. Don’t beat yourself up about it; but don’t make it a habit either.

8. Learn to use jumper cables.

And change a flat tire and drive a stick shift. You never know when this knowledge will come in handy.

9. Men look at other girl’s boobs. Don’t expect otherwise. It’s nothing personal. They can’t help it.

I know…it is hard to understand why men like lumps of fat ONLY on our chest and nowhere else but it is sadly true. Don’t try to figure out why. Many women have tried and failed. It is what it is honey.

10. The only alcohol you should ever drink straight from a bottle is beer. Doing otherwise will likely land you in the hospital or even worse, a wooden box.

Moderation is the key. What ever you drink; do it in moderation.

11. Budgeting is the key to happiness.

Spend some, save some, tithe some. Repeat.

12. The only thing you wash with white clothes? White clothes.

Unless you are hoping for a tie-dye effect.

13. Every cigarette you smoke takes seven minutes off your life. A pack? Two hours and 20 minutes.

Do the math! It is a lose, lose situation.

14. No one knows what they are going to be when they grow up. Just get a degree.

Make sure you chose a profession you will enjoy instead of what makes the most money because you will do it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!

15. Boys are the gravy, not the mashed potatoes.

Don’t need a man; be a woman who a man would want.

What would you add?

 

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