Being a parent is, as author Jill Smokler says, “dirty and scary and beautiful and hard and miraculous and exhausting and thankless and joyful and frustrating all at once. It’s everything. “(Confessions of a Scary Mommy, Gallery Books 2012).
Here are some of the dirty, scary, wonderful, and frustrating parts of being a parent. So, if you are a first time parent then heed these truths. If you are already a parent then you are surly aware of all of these by now.
1. When it comes to your own kids, you will have favorites. (Don’t feel bad or guilty about it.) Your favorite will change on a daily basis. It will always be the child that is behaving the best and annoying you the least on that given day.
2. Barbie shoes, Hot Wheel cars, and Legos are fun kid toys. But if stepped on by an adult, they will take even the largest and strongest of men (and women) down to the ground graveling in pain. Those things hurt! If possible avoid them altogether. Note to self: buy Sweet Baby T (my niece or nephew to be) Barbie shoes, Hot Wheel cars, and Legos!
3. The longest walk you will ever take is hand in hand with a 2 year old. They toddle slowly and feel the need to investigate EVERYTHING. Although, it will also be the simplest and most rewarding walk you will ever take. Enjoy and savor every minute of it!
4. If you decide to expand your family beyond more than 2 children then it (probably) really doesn’t matter how many more you have. Child expenses aside, having 3 children is probably no different than having 5 children…you can no longer play “man to man” you must now play “the zone”. You will already be outnumbered (I hope they don’t EVER realize this!) and your time will be spread thin. There is no more, “Hubs you go to J’s soccer game and I will go to Sassafras’s basketball game”. There will only be two of you and LOTS of them.
5. Kids will embarrass you. They will scream and cry in public, pull your shirt up and expose your bra at the grocery, freely pick their nose in unrestricted places, talk about poop and pee when dinning out a restaurant, and announce to family members that “Taco Bell makes mommy poop” at a family holiday get together (for the record I only said “Taco Bell upsets my stomach” and apparently her little 3 year old mind processed it differently!).
So there you have it…the cold hard truths very simply stated from this hometown happy wife. So now it is time to accept them and go out there and be the best parent you can be!